Installation view of 《He gives me butterflies. love》 (Artside Gallery, 2023) ©Artside Gallery

Choi Suin paints landscapes that dissolve the emotions she experiences in human relationships into nature. She held a solo exhibition, 《He Gives Me Butterflies. Love》(Sept. 1–Oct. 7), at Artside Gallery, presenting 25 new works centered on the truths and falsehoods that emerge within loving relationships. Since the early stages of her practice, the artist has visualized the tension between what is revealed and what is concealed in relationships. If this exhibition differs from her previous work, it is in specifying the relationship as “love.” Whereas earlier works indirectly illuminated the universal discord between self and other without naming a particular situation, the new paintings directly depict romantic relationships through gestures such as embracing and kissing.
 

He Gives Me Butterflies

Love is a relationship that demands honesty more than any other. Falsehood holds the greatest destructive power between lovers. The distinction between truth and lies, which might not be problematic among colleagues or family members, can cause irreparable ripples between partners. It is precisely because truth and falsehood possess such intensity that Choi Suin, who has long examined the fictionality inherent in relationships, turns to love as her subject. Yet her work is not concerned with determining what is true and what is false. Love cannot be defined by truth or falsehood alone; it constantly moves between the two. What matters is the “moment” when truth turns into falsehood—or falsehood into truth.
 
The exhibition title “He Gives Me Butterflies” metaphorically evokes this oscillation between truth and lies. The idiom, which translates as “He makes me tremble,” superficially refers to the exhilaration of love, but at a deeper level suggests the vibration that moves endlessly between doubt and belief. It extends from Shivers(love)(2023), presented at Art Busan this year under the theme of love and trembling. “When I encounter someone I love, my body is overwhelmed with tension and ecstasy. I do not know whether it is good or bad, nor whether I myself am truthful or not. But regardless, butterflies are circling in my chest.”


Choi Suin, He gives me butterflies. love, 2023, Oil on canvas, 227.3x145.5cm ©Artside Gallery

Perhaps because her paintings move between comedy and tragedy, her canvases are filled with contradiction. Blunt brushstrokes and warm pastel tones create an overall sense of comfort, yet closer inspection reveals scenes bordering on catastrophe. Fierce winds that raise tidal waves, trees bent at the waist, and massive clouds swallowing the sky appear ready to reduce the landscape to ruins. This paradox carries two meanings. First, the artist focuses not on the result but on the process—the “moment.” Even as the sea calms, signs of a coming storm are detected; even as disaster strikes, there remains a thread of hope that bad weather will pass. For Choi, love is not completion but a process that repeatedly trembles and solidifies.
 
Second, the gentle color palette intensifies the tragedy while also inviting viewers to approach the painting. “I wanted to use colors as if a festival were taking place. I once read a line in a book: ‘If you want to show depression, tell a joke.’ A face so sad that its tears have dried… That way, wouldn’t someone come closer?” Perhaps for this reason, a gaze that might otherwise turn away from sheer devastation instead deepens, following the joke metaphorized in soft colors. The courage to live with tragedy, and the hope to overcome it, coexist within the image.
 
For instance, Kiss(2023) depicts lovers kissing through colliding waves. Tidal surges that rise to the sky extend pink tongues, indulging in one another. The truth here lies in their devotion—leaping into the air at the risk of falling in order to meet the beloved. The pair supports each other, promising eternal love. Yet at the same time, they foresee that this promise may be false. The waves overlap only briefly before separating, each following its own current. It is the moment when love is realized and the moment just before separation. For Choi Suin, these two instants are the same scene.
 
The artist’s note attached to Bite(2023) clarifies this theme further. In the work, two clouds attempt to hold onto one another by biting into the other’s body, only to realize that they are drifting apart. Choi writes: “At the moment we faced each other, I wanted to bite. So when I bit immediately, I felt the distance. I realized we were a relationship unable to share even a single truth.” Still, she adds that coming to know this brought her a sense of calm. The meeting of the two clouds leads to torrential rain over the sea. Even if they cannot remain forever, the earnestness of that fleeting stay falls upon the ocean and remains there eternally.
 
Another distinctive element in this exhibition is urine. In Pink Pee(2023) and the 'Peeing'(2023) series, natural forms explicitly urinate. This prompts viewers to question whether even the streams of water appearing in other works might in fact be urine. The deepening of melancholy through humor, and the coexistence of truth and falsehood—this is where Choi Suin’s composition and themes converge. The subject finds itself in a situation where it cannot cry but must wet itself instead. Urine, which lingers longer than tears through its trace and odor, becomes momentarily comic yet remains tragic over time. But tragedy is not the end. The blue wave rises toward the sky, using waste as fuel. Only after the yellow and red have poured out does the sea reveal how blue it truly is.
 
“Unlike words, painting cannot lie. No matter how much I censor or plan, primal movements are ultimately recorded.” There are things that do not surface in language, yet in painting there are things that cannot be hidden. Choi Suin says this is why she began to paint. Perhaps for that reason, despite her claim that she wished to confess depression, hope does not remain concealed in her paintings—it quietly spreads.

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