Early
in the research phase, I found great inspiration in Christine Sun Kim’s TED
Talk, “The Enchanting Music of Sign Language.” She describes how
sound, which she once thought irrelevant to her life, is actually close to her
— how American Sign Language, unlike linear spoken language, is spatial and
feels like harmony. Later, watching performances and documentaries, I found
both American and Korean Sign Language to be very spatial and deeply musical.
Through
conversations with two Deaf artists during research, I learned that even if we
do not perceive sound waves in the same way, each of us has our own domain of
sonic experience. Both had cochlear implants — yet one used sign language and
the other did not. Even within the Deaf community, different sound conditions,
attitudes, and cultures exist.
A cochlear implant replaces the function of the
cochlea; while it allows Deaf individuals to share sound with hearing people,
noise sometimes occurs, and adjustments are needed for distance and volume —
meaning their experience cannot be identical to that of hearing people. It
creates a fluid identity between what is heard and unheard — sometimes leading
to loneliness, but also expanding a field of curiosity.
When
we met, each artist first described their listening condition — difficulties
perceiving speech when people wear masks, state of implant use, sound levels in
different spaces. These encounters helped me better understand the principles
of hearing: “Sound waves enter the ear and send electrical signals to the
brain.” A concept I always had to look up in a dictionary suddenly made sense
when embodied before me. Like Christine Sun Kim’s insights, both individuals
were deeply aware of sound — and knowledgeable about it.
From
this, I learned that even if someone does not hear or experience sound in the
same way I do, it does not mean sound or music does not exist for
them. When sound waves exist, even if invisible, I can hear them — and another
person might see them or feel them as vibration. And perhaps beyond that — even
when waves are neither seen nor heard — there are still various inner currents
flowing within a person’s body and mind. Watching the rhythm of bodies in
motion, I imagine these unseen waves often. But if those imaginings remain
bound within the hearing person’s standard, they may become
a well-intentioned but ableist romanticization.
Once,
I attended the “Night of Flowing Communication,” an event supporting
communication services for Deaf individuals. A fellow artist who had shared
conversations with me about sound suggested I join. There, I met CODAs, Deaf
people with and without cochlear implants, and Deaf parents raising hearing
children. At the dinner table, as we introduced ourselves with excitement, I
said I was an artist working with sound — and conversation became hesitant. I,
too, suddenly questioned whether my approach to sound had been right. I decided
to listen more.
One
person was studying to become a psychological counselor for Deaf people. Due to
the pandemic, classes had moved online and required captioning — which posed a
heavy financial burden. The cost was significant — something that would be
difficult even for me to afford. I realized that Deaf individuals
must bear greater costs to do the same things in a sound-centered
society designed for hearing people.
“Could
the sonic space that feels important to me become an unnecessary imposition for
someone else?”
That day, I could feel in the air that I needed to keep dismantling and
re-examining my own assumptions about sound. This awareness came precisely
because I was a minority hearing person in a predominantly Deaf group. More
experiences where non-disabled individuals are invited as minorities in
disability-centered spaces are needed. Shifts in perspective — sometimes
easy, sometimes difficult — are continually necessary.
Art
can help expand interpretations of sound — enabling resonance without requiring
identical perception. I hope many pathways emerge where stories and
experiences, the songs embedded in our bodies, can be shared richly — even if
clumsy, uneven, or still in progress. And I must keep knocking, to make sure my
thoughts are not still trapped in rigid assumptions.